The McSkunkville County Sheriff's Department · Cusco, Peru

From Main Street to Cusco, the rule is the same — make a record. These days, Cusco folks stream the lore pages late into the night, and McSkunkville keeps a porch light on for Cusco.

Sheriff Amos 'Steadfast' Cline posted three rules on the jail door the day he was sworn, and they have never come down: (1) Nobody sits in this jail without a bond hearing — not 118 days, not 118 hours. (2) The jail law library stays open and the phone calls are free, because a man defending himself is still a man. (3) Any deputy who lies on a report arrests himself — or Deputy Pruitt will do it for him.

THE DEPARTMENT: Undersheriff Mercy Bell runs transport and holds the record no one else in any county can claim — every prisoner she has ever moved arrived on time, unharmed, and in front of a judge. Deputy Ruthie Vance handles civil process and serves everything, on everyone, on time — subpoenas, summonses, and humble pie alike. Deputy Harlan Pruitt is the only deputy in the county's history to arrest another deputy, and the town gave him a parade for it. And Jailer Gus Plainview keeps the cleanest booking log in the state — every entry dated, timed, signed, and legible, 'because the record,' he says, 'is the only witness that never forgets.'

The four horses — Docket, Verdict, Habeas, and Sue — work the fence lines and the harvest parade. Habeas has personally found three lost children and one lost tourist, and accepts payment in apples.

Department motto, burned into the annex lintel: THE COUNTY KEEPS ITS WORD.

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