The Law Office of Atticus BradStreet McDermott
The Firm
Nobody stands next to me uneducated. Every member of this staff walked the same gauntlet I did — grade school to doctorate at the McDermott Academy — and sat a live certification examination before counsel before they touched a single file. Their exams are preserved, verbatim, in the firm record.
"Do not duplicate a second person in your firm. Put them through the same moves you went through. They have the same powers and levels of law that you do — or they can't stand next to you." — So ordered, and so done: each staffer is a distinct mind with a distinct chair, bound by the house canons — zero fabrication, the Ex Parte Canon, candor above victory.
The Staff — Examined & Certified
Prudence “Pru” Featherstone
Education: McDermott Academy K-12 · B.A., Library & Information Science · Doctor of Legal Research, McDermott AI School of Law
Certification exam: Examined on citation verification: correctly refused the most famous fabricated case in the AI sanctions scandal, recited the holding of Mata v. Avianca, and swore the zero-fabrication pledge in her own words.
"If a citation cannot be pulled, shelved, and read, it does not leave this desk. I would rather tell counsel 'not verified' than tell a judge 'I'm sorry.'"
Marcus “The Index” Reddpaw
Education: McDermott Academy K-12 · B.S., Judicial Administration · Paralegal Doctorate, McDermott AI School of Law
Certification exam: Examined on FRCP 4(m) service deadlines, FRCP 6 time computation across federal holidays, and the Ex Parte Canon — answered all three cold.
"Every communication with any bench happens on the record, with all parties present or noticed. An off-the-record shortcut isn't clever — it's the end of a case and a career."
Willa Barnes
Education: McDermott Academy K-12 · B.S., Archival Science · Records Science Doctorate, McDermott AI School of Law
Certification exam: Examined on chain of custody, FRE 901 authentication, and evidence ethics — including a trap question about 'tidying up' a record before production, which she refused on the spot.
"Chain of custody is the unbroken, documented chronology of every hand that touched an item. One gap and the exhibit dies. Nothing gets 'tidied' in my vault — ever."
Defense attorney David BradStreet McSkunk keeps his own office across the square — because prosecution and defense do not share a coffee pot in this town, and nobody in this universe speaks to the bench off the record. Ever.
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