The Real World · McDermott
McSkunkville · McSkunk
Two counsel · two worlds · one Constitution
Know Your Rights,
America.
Rule One — before anything else
We never consent to a search. Ever.
Not the car. Not the phone. Not the trunk, the bag, or the house. Even police officers train their own children: do not answer questions, do not let them search the car.
The Scene · A traffic stop is not an investigation
Defense Counsel David Bradstreet McSkunk
McSkunkville · The Cartoon World · Bar No. 001
The Script — Say It & Nothing More
You got pulled over. Hands on the wheel, window cracked, license and insurance ready. Then the whole conversation goes like this:
"Why did you pull me over?"
"Your taillight's out."
"Okay. Write me a ticket. I need to go."
That's it. That's the whole show. When he leans in with "You got anything in the car I need to know about?" — that is not a question you answer. That is a fishing trip, and you are not bait.
You were pulled over for a traffic stop — not an investigative stop. Terry v. Ohio, 392 U.S. 1 (1968), does not turn a taillight into a treasure hunt.
Defense Counsel Atticus Bradstreet McDermott
The Real World · Verified Law Only
The Clock Is Running — Under 20 Minutes
The Supreme Court put a leash on the roadside stop. Rodriguez v. United States, 575 U.S. 348 (2015): a stop lasts only as long as its mission — check the license, run the tags, write the ticket. Once that's done, or reasonably should be done, you are free to go.
In practice that means minutes — not an hour on the shoulder while a dog is summoned. Prolonging the stop to fish for something else, without independent reasonable suspicion, violates the Fourth Amendment.
Probable cause got you pulled over. Probable cause gets you a ticket. It does not get anyone into your trunk.
And profiling — stopping a driver for their face, their race, their plates, their neighborhood — is unconstitutional policing under the Equal Protection Clause. Document it. Then litigate it.
When it's criminal — the number one rule
Shut your mouth. Demand a defense attorney. Immediately.
Never sit there and try to explain your way into telling a cop how you're not guilty. Every word sets the stage against you — innocent people talk themselves into charges every single day. There is one sentence, and only one:"I am invoking my right to remain silent, and I want a lawyer."
Miranda v. Arizona, 384 U.S. 436 (1966) · Edwards v. Arizona, 451 U.S. 477 (1981) — once you demand counsel, questioning must stop. Say it clearly, then say nothing.
The Arsenal · By David McDermott's Characters
Ramrod Your Rights
First Amendment
Speak. Record. Publish.
You may criticize the government, film the police in public, and publish what you see. Retaliation for protected speech is itself a federal claim — 42 U.S.C. § 1983.
Fourth Amendment
Search & Seizure
No unreasonable searches. No consent means they need a warrant, probable cause, or a recognized exception. Your car, your phone, your home — say it plainly: 'I do not consent to searches.'
Fifth Amendment
The Right to Silence
You cannot be compelled to be a witness against yourself. But silence alone isn't enough after Salinas v. Texas — SAY it: 'I invoke my Fifth Amendment right and I want a lawyer.' Then stop talking.
Eighth Amendment
Bail & No Cruel Punishment
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed. Stack v. Boyle: bail set higher than needed to assure appearance is excessive. Timbs v. Indiana applied the fines clause to every state.
Fourteenth Amendment
Equal Protection
The law protects everyone the same — profiling a driver by race, religion, tags, or zip code is unconstitutional policing. Whren doesn't save an officer from an equal-protection claim.
The Courthouse Door
Your Right to Litigate
Access to the courts is itself a constitutional right. File pro se. File amicus curiae briefs to aid others — a friend of the court moves fast, ramrods the record, and lifts people who can't lift themselves.
Defense Counsel Atticus Bradstreet McDermott
The Real World · Verified Law Only
Bad Cops Know Better — That's the Point
Understand what makes it worse: the officer who prolongs your stop, coerces a "consent," or punishes your recording knows the rule he is breaking. He was trained on Rodriguez. He was trained on Miranda. Qualified immunity fights turn on whether the law was "clearly established" — and these rules have been clearly established for decades.
That knowledge is why 18 U.S.C. §§ 241 and 242 exist — willful deprivation of rights under color of law is a federal crime. And it's why § 1983 exists: so you can bring the constitution to them, in their own courthouse.
Off-duty, the same officers teach their own kids: don't answer questions, don't consent, ask for the ticket, ask to leave. Learn what their families already know.
Defense Counsel David Bradstreet McSkunk
McSkunkville · The Cartoon World · Bar No. 001
Go Watch It — Then Watch It Again
Don't take our word for it. Real defense lawyers say the same thing on camera every week. Go watch the Potte Brothers at Law traffic-stop breakdown on YouTube — how a lawful stop works, how officers stretch it, and how four calm sentences end it.
Watch on YouTubeThen come home to McSkunkville and drill it until the script is muscle memory — because on the shoulder of the highway, at night, with lights in your mirror, you will only remember what you rehearsed.
Rights were violated? Put it on paper.
Walk into the office and tell Atticus what happened — or go straight to the Builder and draft the § 1983 complaint, free.
Counsel's margin note: a certain red stone keeps glinting at the edge of this record. Series One is watching it. — J.M.R., Tulsa
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