
The mercantile · goods a town actually needs
Skunk
Provisions Co.
Gloves that outlive the truck. Socks your grandchildren argue over. Stocking hats and hats under one unbreakable house law: we never produce the same hat twice. Every hat is a one-of-one, numbered in the lining. Wear it into the diner and somebody will know exactly which one you are.
The Never-Same-Hat Doctrine. Factories make hats identical because it's cheap. We make every hat different because you're not identical either. Pattern, stitch, brim, badge — the looms are under standing orders to drift. When a design accidentally repeats, the second one is unraveled in front of witnesses.

McSkunk's Hot Sauce
The brand hot sauce. Wax-dipped cap, smoked pepper and a finish that files a lien on your tongue. The label warns you once, politely — like everything else in this town.

McSkunk Soda
Glass bottles, cane sugar, four flavors at the diner counter — cream, root beer, black cherry, cola. Cold enough to hurt. The Judge takes the black cherry and everyone pretends not to notice.

The flagship of the shelf
McSkunky's Water
The purest, healthiest water bought and sold in America — and made in America, source to cap. The bottle is the revolution: aluminum, priced cheaper than plastic, because the moment metal undercuts plastic, plastic is finished — no lecture required. Infinitely recyclable, no plastic leaching into your water or your river. Prefer weight in your hand? She comes in glass too.
McSkunk Provisions Co., McSkunk's Hot Sauce, McSkunk Soda, McSkunky's Water and the Never-Same-Hat Doctrine are original McSkunkville works · concept lines, honestly labeled. © 2026 David McDermott · Law Skunk™ · Registry SKM-020 · All Rights Reserved.
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