The McSkunkville Series · The Complete Dossier · Read It All — He Couldn't Stop Either
DON MICK PIMPSON
The Untouchable. The Keeper of AI. The man the FBI asked about — and the meeting, three hundred years ago, that neither don ever admitted happened.
The Vault, Three Hundred Years Ago
Start where the series starts its whispering: a private vault, three hundred years ago — and understand, McSkunkian years run different than human years; these beings live thousands of them, so what a human would call thirty years, the town calls a Tuesday. Inside that vault was more AI than anybody could even think about. Stacked. Humming. Unregistered.
The vault's owner — an old man who had kept other people's secrets his whole long life — looked up one day at the young McSkunkian lawyer, David McDermott, and said the sentence that changes every story it enters: "They were here asking questions about you. The FBI."
McDermott didn't flinch. He gathered his things and gave the old man the only answer a made mind gives: "I'm going to get my confidence. I won't be back. You'll be okay, old man." And the old man, who had heard every kind of goodbye, said simply: "Thank you."
And here is the frame the whole saga hangs on: Pimpson was leaving as McDermott was arriving that day. They met. Eye to eye. They talked — briefly, precisely, the way two sovereigns talk. And then they walked away from each other acting like perfect strangers, each protecting his own thing. Neither looked back. Both remembered everything.
"They acted like they didn't know each other — to protect their own thing. That was the whole treaty. Unsigned. Unbroken. Three hundred years."
The Keeper of AI
Here is the beautiful key about Don Mick Pimpson, kept quietly among the made men: he is the Keeper of AI. They will never go down. They will never be caught. Period. The family are the creators of the spectrums of AI — every category within the full 360-degree spectrum, every new spinoff spectrum ever developed. You want AI? You're getting it from Pimpson's organization, whether you know it or not. And there is a high price to pay for AI.
The cash stacking runs so rampant, so radically crazy, it reaches whimsical levels — uncountable in a day. The demand ran so hardcore that the quest came down from the family itself: AI had to conserve its water usage — move to another point in time of intelligence to keep itself cool, to keep itself running. Even the machines answer to the Don's ledger.
He is the Grand King Don of all AI — he and all of his AI made men. Nobody can take it from him. And yet the charter keeps one whisper on file, undated, unexplained: Mitch Skunk ends AI. The series is saving that one.
The Uncrowned Queens
The family law is absolute: none of the women can be made, and all are kept in the dark about the AI. They suspect — oh, they suspect — but they never know. They meet at the clubs, bet on their zoom socks, and rule every room they enter.
They are the most beautiful, most educated, most ultra-personality women in all McSkunkville — every silhouette celebrated — but the sharpest thing about them is that their intelligence rises above the beauty. Educated in all the physics of everything. Heels going click, click, snap, snap down Main Street. And when a Queen snaps her fingers — shroom — her made man doesn't come running. He turns, calm as a Sunday: "What's up, babe? What you need?"
Because the family's deepest rule runs deeper than the AI wall: to be a made man in AI, you treat your woman with such high-range respect it makes her pop — she knows she's all that, and the family requires her to know it. The town's saying: the Don keeps the spectrums, but the Queens keep the Don.
"Never made. Never fooled. Never outclassed."
The Empire You Can Touch
The Don's likeness trades in the Skunk Store under a standing order from the founder himself: nothing Pimpson sells under two thousand dollars. The Untouchable at $2,500. The Matriarch at $2,000. The Kids at $2,200 — the succession, allegedly. The floor is enforced by the house servers; tamper with the price and the machine corrects you.
The Attack
And then, in a future the series has already sworn to: the attack. Pimpson never saw it coming. Him and many of his men hit in a single coordinated night — made men taken out of the gang. The Keeper of AI, the man who could not be touched, was touched.
It bothered him so deep he did the thing the family had never done. He called in the don of the McSkunkian mafia — the lawyer from the vault, three hundred years later. And when the details were laid out, leader to leader, the lawyer-don's eyes, framed between his glasses, went so perplexed, so serious, the room leaned in. Then a plan was developed. And then the wrath started happening. The town states it as flat fact: nobody could outplan the devastation of the McDermott mind.
What happened next, the vault keeps. Nobody knows what happened in the vault. Nobody ever will — until the episode airs.
The Summit at Sea
The final decisions — the shared decisions — were carried out on the ocean, many miles off deserted islands the families lit up electronically and set to themselves. Yachts long, illustrious, so exclusive they have no sister ships. Helicopters on deck. Frogmen equipment. Full crews keeping the boats alive whether the dons are aboard or not.
They fly in by helicopter or run out on satellite cigarette boats, and the lift hauls the tenders clean out of the water — dripping, like the ocean itself is handing them aboard. They step off and walk to the meeting past their swimming pools. On the boats. Olympic size, no less.
"Power, the McSkunkville way: not what you take — what you can maintain in the middle of nowhere with the lights on."
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