How Advertising Works in McSkunkville: The Rate Card, Explained Honestly

Every advertising pitch you have ever read promised you the moon and delivered a lamppost. This one is written by a counselor who is constitutionally incapable of overselling, so here is the whole arrangement in plain English.

The inventory, proven

The McSkunkville universe currently spans 9,689 indexed URLs: 241 world cities mapped against 40 entities — characters, industries, ancient wonders, the Exchange, the fleet, the hospital, and the Stripe Tower newsroom. Every page is real, live, and crawlable. We claim no visitor counts we cannot prove; we claim pages, because pages are provable.

The five placements

City Network Placement, $100/mo: your banner across all 241 city pages of one entity. Highway 75 Sign, $250/mo: the full industry wing. Main Street Billboard, $500/mo: the hub and top character pages. Industry Title Sponsor, $1,500/mo: an entire industry wing renamed in your honor, exclusive. Stripe Tower Naming Rights, $10,000/yr: the tallest rise in the universe carries your name. Each is purchasable today in the Skunk Store with secure Stripe checkout.

How founder's rates lock

Buy now, and your rate is honored for as long as your placement renews without lapse. Let it lapse, and re-entry is at the then-current rate card — which only moves one direction. This is not a pressure tactic; it is arithmetic. The universe grows, the inventory does not.

The house rules

We reserve the right to decline any advertiser whose product would embarrass the town (the Book of the Stripe has opinions). All deals go in writing. All placements are labeled as what they are. And every inquiry gets an answer from counsel personally — supersonic honest, supersonic polite. File yours at the advertising desk. — A.B.M.